the love lock series: the summer sun chapter
Originally published May 5, 2023
Love is warm and bright. Just like summer, falling in love should feel like freedom and passion and enjoyment.
When I interviewed my sweet friend Adelaide Town, she said, “It's hard to pinpoint what exactly makes me fall in love with a guy but I think I would say that one of the top things is the kind of person I am around them; the kind of person they make me. There are certain people you’ll meet who just soften your worst parts. People who compliment you well, who bring out the best in you and can strengthen you, and you can do the same for them. That’s one of the priorities for me in a relationship; if you’re with someone who has the same weaknesses as you or brings out the worst in you, it’s not bound to last long. That AND respect is so important! He needs to respect me and my decisions fully. I would say those things are the top things that make me say yes to a relationship.”
My dear friend Sean Dixon had a similar response. He said, “I think listening is the most important thing and having mutual respect for each other and investing in each other.” When discussing the beauty of a healthy relationship, where two people “morph” into one, he added, “in an ideal relationship it should get to the point where their struggles feel like your struggles and their success feels like your success.” In regards to pursuing a woman, he said that in combination to feeling listened to and being able to provide comfort to the other person, he has to ask himself, “do I want to be like this person?” Because we end up becoming who we spend the most time with, Sean thinks it’s important in a relationship to admire a person enough to want to be like them.
An anonymous friend of mine emphasized the importance of where a girl’s heart is at. “I’d say the most drawing thing for me is someone that cares a lot about other people.” He discussed how if someone seems excluded from a group of people, and a girl aims to reach out and make them feel included, then he finds that attractive, and it comes down to her comforting, nurturing nature towards others. When it comes to pursuing a girl, he highlighted the importance of having parallel paths in each others’ lives, which could include a shared goal and shared interests. He also explained that it comes down to a combination of multiple factors, including what was said above, along with attraction and being truthful.
The overarching thread throughout all three of these responses led me to recognizing the importance of character, that when you treat others as warmly as the summer sun, other people will gravitate towards that, and it makes you so much more attractive than trying to play it cool. Spread love to others, love as bright and comforting as the summer sun, and that love will shine on you.
