the love lock series: the driving at sunset chapter
Originally published April 21, 2023
I first want to share an anonymous interview I did with a good friend of mine who sat and spoke with me for over an hour. The insight he shared might have impacted me the most, showing me that love is like driving at sunset, a journey that two people embark on together, finding peace and adventure in each other’s lives.
He began by discussing the importance of carrying the same values. “First thing is faith, that’s the most important thing.” Then he looks at the way a girl treats other people, how she interacts in a group, and how she acts on her worst day, because knowing how she handles life’s obstacles reveals how they will work as a team moving forward. As someone who wants kids someday, he values how she interacts with children, and needs to be sure that she’ll be a good mother in the future. When it comes to personality, he is especially drawn to a woman with positive energy, someone who tends to look on the bright side. “Smiling is big.” It’s important for a guy to know that a woman is interested in him through a warm smile, because while there are many beautiful women out there, the initiative to take a step in asking her out comes from whether or not she smiles at him, displaying her interest.
One of my favorite lines out of the whole interview has to be this: “Women are the capstone, or the crown of creation, the most beautiful thing that God could’ve made,” and that is why when a guy receives a smile from a woman he’s interested in, his whole mood changes.
Another factor is humor. “A deal breaker is a sense of humor. If she doesn’t laugh at my jokes then it ain’t gonna fly.”
A woman who also takes an interest in his work, whether or not she works in the same field or completely understands it, is a huge factor. “If she remember things that I like, that’s the best… if she remembers little details or asking how this or that is going, if she asks me about my family, or a problem that I was working through, because nothing inspires a guy quite like when a girl says, ‘I think you can do this.’”
He also expressed his desire for adventure, and that a woman who is down to join him on hikes and offroading is essential, but it’s also crucial that she realizes when he needs alone time, in the same way that he would respect her alone time as well.
Another strong component is that she has a good group of girl friends. “If I’m her only emotional lifeline or one of two I consider that a problem for me.”
I think it’s safe to say that for this man, it really comes down to a woman who is both understanding of him, carries a warm spirit, and develops a rich, vibrant life of her own that he is able to take part of, one that makes every day feel like driving at sunset.
